offsideguy: um my names eric im 21 and im half mex/half natv american
pumpitlikeitshot: ok, I'm omar, 28, mexi/rican
offsideguy: cool
offsideguy: what else
offsideguy: so what do u do?
pumpitlikeitshot: I work for an insurance company and go to school part time
pumpitlikeitshot: u?
offsideguy: i go to school at columbia majoring in photogrophy
pumpitlikeitshot: ok, cool
pumpitlikeitshot: You live alone?
offsideguy: no i live in the dorms with three other roomates
pumpitlikeitshot: ok
pumpitlikeitshot: I have 2 roommates
offsideguy: i kinda wish i didnt live on campus but since i dont have to pay for it why make it harder
offsideguy: do they know ur gay
pumpitlikeitshot: yes
pumpitlikeitshot: they are gay also
offsideguy: thats goodoffsideguy: mine are all straight
pumpitlikeitshot: wow. do they know you are gay?
pumpitlikeitshot: brb
pumpitlikeitshot: sorry
pumpitlikeitshot: so do they know you are gay?
offsideguy: yeah i mean i didnt tell them but its obvious
pumpitlikeitshot: why is it obvious?
offsideguy: i mean im not flamboant or anything but like most of friends are guys and i always have like guys over and shit and i guess how i dress
pumpitlikeitshot: ok
offsideguy: so yeah
pumpitlikeitshot: well, people can't tell with me
pumpitlikeitshot: brb
pumpitlikeitshot: sorry
pumpitlikeitshot: friend called again
offsideguy: no its cool dont worry
pumpitlikeitshot: I think I'm going to have to take him out for Hagendaz (however you spell it)
offsideguy: hahaha! yeah! ice cream always helps
pumpitlikeitshot: yeah. I remember those days. It was hard for me. I lost mine after being on and off for 4 years. Moved on but afraid to date. I lost him cause of school.
offsideguy: really! thats sucks
pumpitlikeitshot: yeah
offsideguy: i've never had a boyfirend
pumpitlikeitshot: well, take your time
offsideguy: yeahim not looking for anytihng but whatever happens happens
pumpitlikeitshot: yes, never look
pumpitlikeitshot: be surprised and let him sweep you off your feet
offsideguy: rite?
pumpitlikeitshot: lol
pumpitlikeitshot: ok, well, I need to go
pumpitlikeitshot: he is here
pumpitlikeitshot: I'm going to take him out for a walk and eat ice cream
offsideguy: yeah ttyl
pumpitlikeitshot: maybe we can meet tomorrow
pumpitlikeitshot: and it doesn't have to be for sex
pumpitlikeitshot: maybe we can eat ice cream and talkpumpitlikeitshot: and maybe make a friendship out of it instead of a one night stand
pumpitlikeitshot: think it over
pumpitlikeitshot: don't have to say yes/no
pumpitlikeitshot: ok
pumpitlikeitshot: u there?
pumpitlikeitshot: ok, well, gotta run
pumpitlikeitshot: I'll leave this up so if you want to type something, you can and I'll read it later
pumpitlikeitshot: later Eric
offsideguy: um yeah i think that would be better than sum one nite stand
offsideguy: and if u want to hang out tomarrow thats would fine i have no plans
Sito was his nickname and he was my dad. He passed away suddenly from a heart attack, he was only 46 years old. Right now I don't know how to feel. It's like I'm still in a state of shock and a little bit of denial. I still can't believe he's gone and I'm having a hard time accepting it. We agree that it would be best to bury him in his home land Mexico.
Mexico has been bittersweet it was the first time I had ever gone. The day we got there was the Wake for my dad and at my grandmother's house; whom I met for the very first time. I met everyone on my dad's side of the family for the first time. Then the day after that was the funeral. It was really hard dealing with this whole thing.
I always thought that I would go with my dad back to Mexico. It would be just him, and me but I think I way little afraid because of the fact that I didn't know Spanish and because of financial reasons. But I guess I finally got the chance under really horrible circumstances. My uncle flew here and bought us all tickets and even agreed to pay to transport my dad's body.
I got to meet all of my dad's family and they were all really nice and welcoming. The weather was warm and they showed us around and took us to really beautiful places. I loved it. It was just sad that I could have my dad here to experience this with.
Now I'm back in Chicago and my family is home. I don't know what is going to happen. My dad was the main source of income and my mom was homemaker taking care of my little sister and brother. So if we're not able to stay in Chicago maybe they'll move back to Mississippi where my mom is from or Virginia were my aunt lives. I don't know if I'll be able to stay in Chicago. But I defiantly don't want to live In MS. I mean I love it and all but its gets really boring after about a week (really boring). If anything I think we should go to live with my aunt in VA. It'll be a whole new start and its right by New York, which is were I always wanted to go and live.
It's just really hard to deal with the fact that my dad who was such a good man, came to the U.S. to find a better life, was a really hard worker and took care of his family is gone before his time. We didn't have a lot of money but we we're a tight knit family who took care of each other, me, my brother, my sister, my mom, and my dad. I think what hurts the most is that a little girl will grow up never knowing her dad and every time I think about that I cry. She's only seven and she won't have the experience that my brother and I have had with him. I know I'm going to miss him but I just have to remember that he looking down on us and still looking out for us.
well i must say this has been one of the most interesting weekends. I kinda seeing a guy that i met a few months ago. Sat we hung out at his place had a few coctails, watched a few movies and we ended up in his bed making out among other things, then Sun we went to the Kit Kat lounge watched the superbowl(? i know me and sports, rite!!) had a "few" drinks. I felt all classy and fancy, a cosmopolitian, a shot of something, and few glasses of champagne, we took a cab all the way back to his place... played around, took a long bath and went to sleep! fun but i dont know if im completly smittin' over him. whatever!
"you are who you are..and i...wouldnt want to change a thing..in spite of...all the pain that love can bring... tell me what i can do i sooo in love with you"
i need to stop doing this to myself its like once i feel one once of happiness something comes to take it away. As i told myself i was over it and feeling like i could move on, i get sucked back in. Secretly i think its becasue i have a constant need for affection and so i fall fast and hard for anyone that will give me the light of day even if its for all the wrong reasons. Just to say i have some sort of feeling even if its not real.
it's cool cuz he just like me half mexican/half native american his dad is mexican like my dad, in fact they're both from the same town my mom and his mom are sisters. he's about one year younger and we practically grew up brothers! i would spent the night at his house all the time and we'd stay up late watching cart0ons and playing video games! fun times!! and now hes more heavy metal and im more garage/british rock/ electro! but we still hangout and we still have a lot of the same interests!!! (he even likes hung up) haha!!
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artfagcouture's journal
crushed