untitled

artfagcouture @ 2007-04-28T23:50:00

2007-04-29T04:51:19Z

my life is a piece of shit.

artfagcouture @ 2007-04-23T09:52:00

2007-04-23T02:59:06Z

pumpitlikeitshot: so tell me about yourself?

offsideguy: um my names eric im 21 and im half mex/half natv american

pumpitlikeitshot: ok, I'm omar, 28, mexi/rican

offsideguy: cool

offsideguy: what else

offsideguy: so what do u do?

pumpitlikeitshot: I work for an insurance company and go to school part time

pumpitlikeitshot: u?

offsideguy: i go to school at columbia majoring in photogrophy

pumpitlikeitshot: ok, cool

pumpitlikeitshot: You live alone?

offsideguy: no i live in the dorms with three other roomates

pumpitlikeitshot: ok

pumpitlikeitshot: I have 2 roommates

offsideguy: i kinda wish i didnt live on campus but since i dont have to pay for it why make it harder

offsideguy: do they know ur gay

pumpitlikeitshot: yes

pumpitlikeitshot: they are gay also

offsideguy: thats goodoffsideguy: mine are all straight

pumpitlikeitshot: wow. do they know you are gay?

pumpitlikeitshot: brb

pumpitlikeitshot: sorry

pumpitlikeitshot: so do they know you are gay?

offsideguy: yeah i mean i didnt tell them but its obvious

pumpitlikeitshot: why is it obvious?

offsideguy: i mean im not flamboant or anything but like most of friends are guys and i always have like guys over and shit and i guess how i dress

pumpitlikeitshot: ok

offsideguy: so yeah

pumpitlikeitshot: well, people can't tell with me

pumpitlikeitshot: brb

pumpitlikeitshot: sorry

pumpitlikeitshot: friend called again

offsideguy: no its cool dont worry

pumpitlikeitshot: I think I'm going to have to take him out for Hagendaz (however you spell it)

offsideguy: hahaha! yeah! ice cream always helps

pumpitlikeitshot: yeah. I remember those days. It was hard for me. I lost mine after being on and off for 4 years. Moved on but afraid to date. I lost him cause of school.

offsideguy: really! thats sucks

pumpitlikeitshot: yeah

offsideguy: i've never had a boyfirend

pumpitlikeitshot: well, take your time

offsideguy: yeahim not looking for anytihng but whatever happens happens

pumpitlikeitshot: yes, never look

pumpitlikeitshot: be surprised and let him sweep you off your feet

offsideguy: rite?

pumpitlikeitshot: lol

pumpitlikeitshot: ok, well, I need to go

pumpitlikeitshot: he is here

pumpitlikeitshot: I'm going to take him out for a walk and eat ice cream

offsideguy: yeah ttyl

pumpitlikeitshot: maybe we can meet tomorrow

pumpitlikeitshot: and it doesn't have to be for sex

pumpitlikeitshot: maybe we can eat ice cream and talkpumpitlikeitshot: and maybe make a friendship out of it instead of a one night stand

pumpitlikeitshot: think it over

pumpitlikeitshot: don't have to say yes/no

pumpitlikeitshot: ok

pumpitlikeitshot: u there?

pumpitlikeitshot: ok, well, gotta run

pumpitlikeitshot: I'll leave this up so if you want to type something, you can and I'll read it later

pumpitlikeitshot: later Eric

offsideguy: um yeah i think that would be better than sum one nite stand

offsideguy: and if u want to hang out tomarrow thats would fine i have no plans

Sito

2007-04-13T21:42:14Z

Sito was his nickname and he was my dad. He passed away suddenly from a heart attack, he was only 46 years old. Right now I don't know how to feel. It's like I'm still in a state of shock and a little bit of denial. I still can't believe he's gone and I'm having a hard time accepting it. We agree that it would be best to bury him in his home land Mexico.

Mexico has been bittersweet it was the first time I had ever gone. The day we got there was the Wake for my dad and at my grandmother's house; whom I met for the very first time. I met everyone on my dad's side of the family for the first time. Then the day after that was the funeral. It was really hard dealing with this whole thing.

I always thought that I would go with my dad back to Mexico. It would be just him, and me but I think I way little afraid because of the fact that I didn't know Spanish and because of financial reasons. But I guess I finally got the chance under really horrible circumstances. My uncle flew here and bought us all tickets and even agreed to pay to transport my dad's body.

I got to meet all of my dad's family and they were all really nice and welcoming. The weather was warm and they showed us around and took us to really beautiful places. I loved it. It was just sad that I could have my dad here to experience this with.

Now I'm back in Chicago and my family is home. I don't know what is going to happen. My dad was the main source of income and my mom was homemaker taking care of my little sister and brother. So if we're not able to stay in Chicago maybe they'll move back to Mississippi where my mom is from or Virginia were my aunt lives. I don't know if I'll be able to stay in Chicago. But I defiantly don't want to live In MS. I mean I love it and all but its gets really boring after about a week (really boring). If anything I think we should go to live with my aunt in VA. It'll be a whole new start and its right by New York, which is were I always wanted to go and live.

It's just really hard to deal with the fact that my dad who was such a good man, came to the U.S. to find a better life, was a really hard worker and took care of his family is gone before his time. We didn't have a lot of money but we we're a tight knit family who took care of each other, me, my brother, my sister, my mom, and my dad. I think what hurts the most is that a little girl will grow up never knowing her dad and every time I think about that I cry. She's only seven and she won't have the experience that my brother and I have had with him. I know I'm going to miss him but I just have to remember that he looking down on us and still looking out for us.

artfagcouture @ 2007-03-31T08:32:00

2007-03-31T13:33:20Z

for someone special...

i'll miss him

artfagcouture @ 2007-02-24T02:46:00

2007-02-24T08:50:15Z

"buck nasty ur so dark that when you touch yourself its like black on black crime!"

artfagcouture @ 2007-02-14T04:18:00

2007-02-14T10:20:10Z

the east end boys and west end girls

in a west end town, a dead end world...

artfagcouture @ 2007-02-05T11:16:00

2007-02-05T17:23:06Z

well i must say this has been one of the most interesting weekends. I kinda seeing a guy that i met a few months ago. Sat we hung out at his place had a few coctails, watched a few movies and we ended up in his bed making out among other things, then Sun we went to the Kit Kat lounge watched the superbowl(? i know me and sports, rite!!) had a "few" drinks. I felt all classy and fancy, a cosmopolitian, a shot of something, and few glasses of champagne, we took a cab all the way back to his place... played around, took a long bath and went to sleep! fun but i dont know if im completly smittin' over him. whatever!

looks like an early winter...

2007-01-21T05:25:28Z

its been awhile...

heroin chic...im bringing it back!

artfagcouture @ 2006-12-19T22:21:00

2006-12-20T04:21:09Z

i'm soo stupid!!!

artfagcouture @ 2006-12-19T14:44:00

2006-12-19T20:44:39Z

i took a chance and it totally blew up in my face now i made myself took like a complete loser. more than i already was, i hate life

artfagcouture @ 2006-12-17T19:45:00

2006-12-18T01:45:24Z

don't be a betch!!

artfagcouture @ 2006-12-04T23:03:00

2006-12-05T05:03:35Z

so i've lost the will to live

im just gunna go down a destructive path of sex drugs and rock and roll

i dont even care about anything anymore

artfagcouture @ 2006-12-04T23:01:00

2006-12-05T05:01:59Z

so i've lost the will to live

im just gunna go down a destructive path of sex drugs and rock and roll

i dont even care about anything anymore!

you thrill me! you put me in a trance...

2006-11-29T08:15:07Z

"you are who you are..and i...wouldnt want to change a thing..in spite of...all the pain that love can bring... tell me what i can do i sooo in love with you"

i need to stop doing this to myself its like once i feel one once of happiness something comes to take it away. As i told myself i was over it and feeling like i could move on, i get sucked back in.
Secretly i think its becasue i have a constant need for affection and so i fall fast and hard for anyone that will give me the light of day even if its for all the wrong reasons. Just to say i have some sort of feeling even if its not real.

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-28T14:43:00

2006-11-28T20:43:43Z

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-25T19:48:00

2006-11-26T01:48:35Z

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-23T23:19:00

2006-11-24T05:19:30Z

if u dont want to have anything to do with me dont blow me off

just give me my gloves and i'll be on my way!!

Quality family time in the hospital!

2006-11-21T19:18:29Z

Heavy Metal vs. Emo

the story of my cousin... "Ace"

it's cool cuz he just like me half mexican/half native american
his dad is mexican like my dad, in fact they're both from the same town
my mom and his mom are sisters.
he's about one year younger and we practically grew up brothers!
i would spent the night at his house all the time and we'd stay up late watching cart0ons
and playing video games! fun times!! and now hes more heavy metal and im more garage/british rock/ electro! but we still hangout and we still have a lot of the same interests!!! (he even likes hung up) haha!!

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-21T03:17:00

2006-11-21T09:17:11Z

no more fits of depression for now on!! or until a certain someone calls again

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-20T04:07:00

2006-11-20T10:07:49Z

and i tried my best to fix it

all i can do now is wait it out

"Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stop me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned you to dust"

Just Like Honey!

2006-11-20T02:12:43Z

and just as soon as it started it has ended just like that...

but whatever its probably for the best.

we'll see where it goes from here

Two of Hearts

2006-11-17T22:08:16Z

Two Hearts that meet as one!

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-15T19:24:00

2006-11-16T01:24:38Z

it feels really good!!

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-14T16:36:00

2006-11-14T22:36:39Z

Dear Diary,

it's a official! he asked me to be his boyfriend. and i said yes!

and he did my hair!

wow a boyfriend and a haircut! life couldn't get any better! im no longer bitter, jealous, bitchy!

artfagcouture @ 2006-11-11T13:28:00

2006-11-11T19:28:04Z

Dear Diary,

I'm in Love...